Self-Soothing vs. Self-Care: Understanding the Difference for Financial and Personal Growth
The concept of self-care has exploded in popularity, often paired with the phrase "treat yourself." But not all self-care is created equal. While indulgent acts like buying a fancy coffee or taking a bubble bath can provide comfort in the moment, they don’t necessarily contribute to long-term well-being. That’s because these actions fall under the category of self-soothing, not true self-care. Understanding the difference between these two concepts is essential, especially when it comes to financial wellness.
What Is Self-Soothing?
Self-soothing is about finding immediate relief from stress, discomfort, or anxiety. It’s a way to regulate emotions when life feels overwhelming. These behaviors often provide temporary comfort but don’t necessarily solve the underlying issue. Some common examples include:
Taking a bubble bath after a long day
Indulging in retail therapy to lift your mood
Scrolling on social media to escape stress
Binge-watching TV shows to distract yourself
While there’s nothing inherently wrong with self-soothing, it’s important to recognize that these activities are band-aid solutions. They offer temporary relief but don’t address deeper needs or contribute to long-term growth.
What Is Self-Care?
True self-care, on the other hand, is about taking actions that support your well-being in a meaningful and sustainable way. It requires effort and intention, often involving activities that benefit your future self rather than just offering immediate relief.
Some powerful self-care practices include:
Financial self-care: Setting a budget, reviewing your spending, or having a “money date” to assess your financial goals.
Physical self-care: Prioritizing sleep, nourishing your body with healthy food, and engaging in regular movement.
Emotional self-care: Practicing mindfulness, journaling, or working through emotions in therapy.
Career self-care: Investing in your skills, networking, and setting boundaries at work to prevent burnout.
Mindfulness practices: Engaging in activities like meditation or breathwork to build resilience and reduce stress over time.
Why This Matters for Your Financial Future
Many people use self-soothing behaviors as a way to cope with financial stress, whether it’s impulse shopping to feel better or avoiding looking at bank statements because it feels overwhelming. But true self-care involves confronting financial realities and making intentional decisions that support financial wellness.
For example:
Instead of impulse spending to lift your mood, practice mindful spending by assessing whether a purchase aligns with your values.
Instead of ignoring financial stress, schedule regular money check-ins to track your progress and adjust your plans.
Instead of feeling guilty about past financial mistakes, take small steps toward education, such as reading about investing or joining a financial coaching program.
Blending Mindfulness with Financial Self-Care
Mindfulness, particularly as taught in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) programs, encourages awareness of our thoughts and behaviors without judgment. When applied to money, mindfulness allows us to:
Recognize emotional spending triggers
Develop a non-reactive approach to financial stress
Make intentional choices that align with our long-term goals
This is a core principle of the Money & Mindfulness program, which teaches individuals how to balance their financial journey with a mindful approach, reducing stress and improving overall well-being.
Final Thoughts: Invest in Your Future Self
Both self-soothing and self-care have their place. It’s okay to indulge in comforting activities when you need a break, but don’t let them replace the deeper work required for true self-care. When it comes to finances, real self-care means building financial security, creating options for yourself, and crafting a future that brings both peace and excitement.
If you’re ready to shift from short-term relief to long-term empowerment, Flow State Financials can support you through both bookkeeping services and our Money & Mindfulness program. Because the best investment you can make is in yourself.